"Show, Don't Tell”: Your Key to Standout College Application Essays

August 13, 2023 | By Daniel Strom

So, someone has thrown the "Show, don't tell" advice your way after reading your writing. You're probably sitting there, wondering what in the world that means. Essentially, it's all about diving deep into your essay with specific examples and rich details that hook your reader's attention. But hang on; you might be thinking, “I've already peppered my essay with examples…” 

The thing is, it's not just about the examples; it’s about making a lasting impression. So, let's break down the concept of "Show, don't tell," decode why it's crucial (with a little twist for college application essays), and get down to the nitty-gritty of putting it into practice. 

Think back to the last time you watched a movie that had you on the edge of your seat. You weren't just told about the protagonist's emotions; you saw their clenched fists, heard their racing heartbeat, and felt the tension in the air. In the same way, your college essay should be more than just words on a page – it should be an immersive experience that lets admission officers walk in your shoes, feel your struggles, and celebrate your victories. 

Getting into Your Admission Reader's Mindset

Picture this: An admission officer surrounded by a mountain of essays, each vying for attention. After reading phrases like "passion-driven" and "excellence-seeking" over and over, they're yearning for a breath of fresh air. They want an essay that doesn't just tell them about your personal traits but shows them the vivid snapshots of your journey, the defining moments that shaped you, and the passions that fuel your dreams. 

This is where the power of "Show, don't tell" comes into play. It's not about listing accomplishments – it's about inviting your reader into your world, where they can witness your growth, feel your dedication, and experience your perspective. By mastering this technique, you can transform your essay from a collection of words into a living, breathing narrative that sets you apart.

The Art of "Show, Don't Tell" 

"Show, don't tell" means using language that immerses the reader in your experiences. It's about letting them see through your eyes, feel with your heart, and sense with your senses. It's painting word pictures that take them to your world. In college essays, this technique is pure gold, with a touch of "telling" to enhance the mix.

For example:

My dad was furious with me. I was terrified.

From this example, we can understand that the writer's father was angry and that the writer was scared, but it's boring and doesn't prompt a visceral reaction from the reader. Let's spruce it up a bit:

My dad marched towards me with an intense scowl, certain to cause permanent wrinkles. His booming voice intimidated me so deeply, I froze in fear.

In this example, the writer details specific actions and emotions. This concoction creates a memory-sticking narrative that the reader won't forget.

Crafting Your Distinct Narrative

To transform your writing from vague to vibrant, focus on specifics, dynamic verbs, sensory nuances, and emotional resonance. Morph vague statements into lively scenes that allow readers to walk in your shoes. For instance:

Vague (Tells):

“I always try to treat others the way I would like to be treated, regardless of who they are.”

Lively (Shows):

“Even when someone does something unlikable, I treat them with respect. Last month, a man was pacing frantically and cut in front of me at the grocery store. My pessimistic thoughts jumped at the opportunity to assume the worst intentions. ‘What a jerk!’ I immediately thought as my pulse raced. But then my principles kicked in, encouraging me to put myself in his shoes and assume best intentions on his part. ‘Maybe he has an emergency,’ I rationalized as I gave him a warm smile.”

The key lies in crafting a narrative that unfolds like a movie, starring you. Make the reader lean in, absorbed in your journey, and hungry for more. Instead of telling them about your experiences, show them every twist and turn of the road.

Ultimately, “Show, don't tell" is a powerful technique to turn your college essay into a masterpiece. Pour vivid imagery, precise details, and heartfelt depth into your narrative. Transform your story into one that resonates deeply with readers, propelling you forward in the application process. Remember, your goal is to create an immersive experience, a story that stands out amidst a sea of generic essays.

Embrace your storytelling prowess and bring your narrative to life. Your tale is one-of-a-kind, and "Show, don't tell" is your ticket to making it shine brightly.

Some Tools to Help You “Show, Don’t Tell”

Let's delve into some strategies that can elevate your writing to new heights.

1. IMMERSE YOUR READERS USING SENSORY DETAIL

While visual imagery is compelling, don't hesitate to explore taste, scent, touch, sight, and sound. Engaging the reader's senses works like a magnet that pulls them into your narrative. For instance: 

"The fluorescent lighting shined so bright, my eyes began to water."

2. BREATHE LIFE INTO YOUR NARRATIVE WITH SPECIFIC, VIBRANT VERBS

Instead of merely selecting good verbs that lead to bland phrases, use verbs to guide your readers through your experiences. 

"Tiptoeing out of my cabin, I noticed the vigilant security guard retreat from the snack bar. Simultaneously, my eyes darted towards two dogs on the balcony, their tails wagging mightily, ready to pounce. Frozen in place, I held my breath."

3. BE SPECIFIC!!!

Remember, phrases like "I have been passionate about science ever since I was a little boy" are cliché and will not serve you well in an admissions essay. Take them a step further by aligning your interests with a specific experience.

Not specific:

"I have been passionate about reading for as long as I can remember."

Specific:

"Growing up with a single parent who worked the graveyard shift, books became my best friend."

In Essence…

"Show, Don't Tell" isn't just a technique; it's the heart of storytelling, an invitation to paint word pictures that linger, evoke, and resonate. So, as we pen down our stories, let's remember that beyond the words lie experiences waiting to be felt, dreams yearning to be shared, and worlds ready to be explored. With every stroke of specificity, let's embrace the magic, weaving our tales into masterpieces that linger in the hearts of those who read them.

About Daniel Strom

Daniel Strom co-founded Elite Scholar Advising, which provides tailored advice to college applicants worldwide. He is a proud graduate of Northwestern University and the Kellogg School of Management, where he also developed admissions experience through his role as an admissions representative. In addition, he also served on the Northwestern Alumni Admissions Interviewing Council. Daniel has helped hundreds of college applicants across the world realize their full potential by gaining admission to their dream schools.